


This is Why I Don't Tempt Fate

by LittleLalaith



Category: Wiedźmin | The Witcher - All Media Types
Genre: Child of Surprise (The Witcher), Fluff, Kid Fic, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-29
Updated: 2020-10-29
Packaged: 2021-03-08 23:40:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,720
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27265135
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LittleLalaith/pseuds/LittleLalaith
Summary: Lambert finds Eskel in the forest, but he isn't alone. Turns out, Geralt isn't the only one with a Child of Surprise
Relationships: Eskel/Lambert (The Witcher)
Comments: 9
Kudos: 46





	This is Why I Don't Tempt Fate

When traveling through a forest, a certain collection of noises are to be expected. Lambert was familiar with the call of local birds, the unnerving cry of foxes, the screams of rabbits; he recognised the difference between a deer's hooves in the undergrowth and the canter of wolf paws along the dirt track. However, he had never before heard a baby's cries emanating from the depths of the forest. 

Following the sound, Lambert tried to convince himself that he was only tracking it down so that it stopped scaring off his potential food. But there was more to it than that. Witcher though he might be, he wasn't heartless enough to leave a baby alone in a forest; open to the elements and the cold ground, at the mercy of countless predators and monsters. Besides, if he found it and returned it to the local village, there might be someone who would pay him a reward. 

However, as he breached an outcrop of rocks, he was able to see down into the valley and was surprised to see a familiar face. Eskel was sat near a campfire, holding a swaddled baby in his arms. It was comical, seeing such a large and heavily scarred Witcher cradling a babe, but it was oddly endearing too. 

"No wonder the poor thing's crying if it has to look at your ugly mug," Lambert called out. 

Eskel started and glared up, a hand instinctively drifting towards his blade. But as he recognised Lambert stood above him, he relaxed and rolled his eyes, "Either come down here and help me, or get lost."

"Well now, that's no way to great your Winter-tide Lover," Lambert winked, starting to climb down the rockface to join his companion.

By the time Lambert had navigated his way down to the valley, the baby had worked itself up into an fierce tantrum and was screeching angrily. Now that he was closer, Lambert could see that the child was maybe a year old, although he wasn't the most experienced hand when it came to children. Old enough to eat soft solids, in any case, judging by the paste-like food Eskel had presumably been trying to feed her. 

"So, have you signed yourself up with the Bendith Y Mamau or have you just started stealing children for the fun of it," Lambert asked, plopping himself down at Eskel's side. 

"Trust me, this isn't fun. When I invoked the Law of Surprise, I was expecting food, not a child."

Oh this was too rich. Eskel, gifted with a Child of Surprise. This was why Lambert didn't bother with any of this 'game of chance' nonsense - Destiny was not kind to Witchers and seemed to take a sick pleasure in watching them squirm. Geralt had learned it well enough when he had been 'blessed' with Ciri, and now Eskel was learning it too. 

"I mean, technically, a child could be food," Lambert reasoned, unable to control his smirk. 

Eskel's features darkened and he fixed Lambert with a glare. Apparently, he was taking his new responsibility as a father very seriously. 

"Alright, alright. So, what's her name?" Lambert asked, shrugging off his bag and digging around for a few different items. 

"Gizela," Eskel uttered plainly, apparently oblivious to the irony in her naming. 'Oath' - like the Oath given to the Witcher when he invoked his Law of Surprise. "I can't get her to stop crying... I've tried everything I can think of. She is fed and watered, her underclothes are clean and dry, she won't sleep, and no amount of cradling will cease her crying!"

Lambert puzzled on this for a moment, trying to remember his childhood on the farm. He knew that a human child was nothing like a lamb, but he assumed that some of the principles were the same. He reached for the baby slowly, waiting for Eskel to pass her over rather than just taking her, and touched the inside of his wrist to her forehead. No wonder the poor thing was screeching, she was half cooked. Lambert loosened the swaddling cloth and touched a little cool water to her temples and neck. 

"I think she's too warm," he explained, but the baby kept crying all the same. "Among other things... hey, little Gizela, what's up?"

"She's can't answer you," Eskel responded, apparently taking Lambert for some kind of simpleton. 

"I know she can't answer, you... oaf. But talking to her might help, you know, like hearing people talking so that she knows she's safe or something. I don't know. At this point, I'd be willing to try pretty much anything."

Nodding slightly, Eskel watched as Lambert stretched his legs out in front of him and placed the child atop his thighs. She was kicking and thrashing her little, pudgy arms, but Lambert kept her steady and looked around for something. He had seen people using little noise makers to keep children calm, like keys or bells, but he didn't have anything suitable. 

"Do you have anything that makes a noise? Like a rattle?" Lambert asked. 

Eskel thought for a moment, looking through his satchel for anything suitable. In the end, he drew out a drawstring bag full of runes and crystals; tying it off securely, he offered it over. Lambert smiled slightly and shook the bag, watching as the child's crying subsided a little and she turned her attention to the bag. Lambert shook it again, letting the runes click and clatter against each other. When Gizela reached for it, Lambert checked that the knot was secure and let her wave it about in her tiny hand. 

"How did you know that would work?" Eskel asked, moving closer so that he could watch the child playing.

"Just a guess. I've seen some of the locals do something similar when their brood are acting up," Lambert shrugged, offering Gizela back, but Eskel shook his head and sat back, content to let Lambert hold her for a while. "So what are you going to do with her?"

"What do you mean?" Eskel asked, frowning a little. 

"I mean, you can't really fight kikimora with a babe strapped to your chest. Are you going to head back to Kaer Morhen for a few seasons?"

"Hm, hadn't really thought about it," Eskel admitted quietly. "Don't much like the idea of trying to take care of her by myself at Kaer Morhen. If you hadn't noticed, I'm not exactly a natural father-figure... I guess I was just going to travel to the nearest village and see if someone could watch over her while I hunt. I don't know. I wasn't prepared for this..."

Lambert felt a little bad for Eskel, this kind of thing could be life-changing, and it had all arisen out of some silly game of chance. There weren't many who would consider watching over the child of a Witcher without trying to steal her away, maybe assuming that they would be doing the child a favour by 'saving' her from her rightful guardian. That was, if Eskel wanted to keep her. Judging by the way he was looking at the child, Lambert assumed that he did. He'd never known the old Witcher to look so soft. 

"Well, if you can't hunt with her and you can't go to Kaer Morhen, then you're pretty much out of commission for this year. Right?" Lambert started, forming an idea in his mind. "So, if we're gonna be one Witcher down either way, then how about this? I travel with you for the rest of the year and we can take turns hunting or child-minding, depending on who wants to do what bounty, and so forth. That way, there's always someone to watch over Gizela and if one of us gets hurt then there's someone to go hunting in their stead."

The expression on Eskel's features was either confusion, gratitude or indigestion - Lambert had no idea which. But after a long moment, a smile broke over his scar-divided lips and he nudged his shoulder into Lambert's affectionately.

"You'd really want to do that? You've got a chance to walk away and save yourself a hell of a lot of grief," Eskel warned. 

"You kidding? I want the hilarity of watching you try to raise a child," Lambert winked. 

Beside, he had to admit that she was kind of cute. It wasn't like he would be able to sire kids of his own (the Witcher's curse had seen to that), and he wasn't likely to marry anyone who already had kids... if he had the luxury of marrying at all. His only options for experiencing parenthood were to invoke the Law of Surprise himself or to help Eskel co-parent this little tyke. Out of the two, he preferred the latter option; just having the one child to deal with seemed like enough stress for one lifetime. And who knows, maybe Gizela would grow up to be as gifted as Ciri. 

Looking back at the small child propped against his legs, Lambert noticed that she was starting to settle into a nap. He picked her up gently and offered her back to Eskel, wanting her to feel safe and cosy against his body. 

"Here, let her body rest along your forearm like this," Lambert guided, showing him how best to hold her with one arm so that he could still eat or read with his other hand. "Once she's fully asleep, I guess we can put her in a pile of clothes for now. We should probably look into building her some kind of portable crib, though."

Hearing a huff of laughter, Lambert met Eskel's gaze defiantly. But the older Witcher only smirked and reached his free hand out to ruffle Lambert's hair (as little of it as there was to ruffle). Whatever he was laughing about, it apparently wasn't something Lambert needed to get defensive about. But still... 

"I guess I'm lucky that you found me. You seem to know more about this stuff than I do," Eskel explained. 

"Eh, well, it's mostly just common sense. There's a lot I need to learn, but we can figure it out together."

Eskel nodded and looked down at the sleeping infant in his arms. Whatever happened, they would have each other - and maybe, just maybe, that would be enough.


End file.
